If you think about it, podcasting is the greatest advance in wasting time since the invention of the Department of Motor Vehicles.

In this episode of our perspicacious (a word we’re only using because you may not know the definition, so we might get away with some gasconading) podcast, we squish all the Vegas we can hastily slap together into your brain container.

We start out with a supremely Vegas-related topic: Are cookies better with butter or margarine?

Next, we share our experience watching Katy Perry zip-lining on Fremont Street with her butt cheeks exposed. Or as it’s known in Las Vegas, Saturday.

Katy Perry’s new light show features her hits, “California Girls,” “Firework” and “Waking Up in Vegas.” Photo by Adam Kilbourn.

You’ll get unvarnished updates about the reopening of Park on Fremont, La Mona Rosa (once La Comida) and Plaza’s new offerings, the Carousel Bar and smoke-free casino area.

We get all up in the business of the Oakland A’s fiasco, Todd English’s retreat from Las Vegas and rumblings about Venetian starting to charge for parking soon. Cue the sad trombone.

Which reminds us, we should all probably be a lot more nervous about A.I. than we are. This is what it generated with the prompt, “sad trombone.”

Run. Run for your life. This isn’t even a wind instrument!

But wait, there’s more.

There’s always more. It’s Las Vegas. Las Vegas is like a shark. Las Vegas must constantly move forward, can grow up to 50,000 teeth in a lifetime and females can store sperm in the tubules near their oviduct for up to a year. Look, no metaphor is perfect.

Let’s talk news, then.

Peppermill is back to being 24/7 again on weekends, Brasserie B from Bobby Flay is coming to Caesars Palace (Old Homestead is doomed), “Legends in Concert” is playing at Orleans, the Sphere refunds tickets due to obstructed views, the million-dollar display is returning to Binion’s, Planet Hollywood restaurant has closed at Forum Shops, Fremont Street Experience will have a series of D.J. performances in May and June, Resorts World is rebranding its loyalty club and “The Jiggle Room” is coming to Cheapshot.

No episode of the Vital Vegas podcast is complete without some whining, so the “Listicle of the Week” is “11 Las Vegas Things We Couldn’t Care Less About.” Hint: They’re all sports.

Remember, our podcast is still free, and be grateful there aren’t annoying commercials, sometimes in Spanish (looking at you, Ice Cream Social).

Listen up and revel in all the WTF that makes Vegas so very Vegas. Including shrimp, and cockroaches of the sea.